You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
