after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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