called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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