he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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