I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
