I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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