So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
