I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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