I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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