why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
