So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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