i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All I want is dick and wine.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
