If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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