also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
