Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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