Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
