You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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