What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
