So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
