just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
