I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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