the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize