guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
