Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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