Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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