OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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