Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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