Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
