What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
