i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
