please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
PANTIES FOUND
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