nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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