There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
