I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
