Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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