i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Is Oprah even human
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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