she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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