my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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