They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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