This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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