ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
