I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
