I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
