Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
