Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
