Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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