She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
