Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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