I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
