Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
